Did I do something wrong?

"Did I do something wrong?"

“I can’t cope with her anymore ;”

“I don’t know why he acts the way he does ;”

Everyday there are thousands upon thousands of complaints about human behavior and way of life. Everyday there seem to be an unending stream of human idiosyncrasies waiting to be unearthed. Sometimes these are things we overlook and some other times these are reasons we wish other people would just leave the planet for good (to be amusingly fair). The question here is: Should we rule out other people’s existence just because we do not like the way they have acted recently? The truth is that all the above complaints are normal occurrences in the affairs of life. As long as we walk the planet, we will encounter them at several points in our lives. However, there is some good news.

The good news is that you are not alone. NO! The good news actually is that rarely does anybody ‘deliberately’ and continually hurt you or other people. Many times when you see people act the way they do, they are more often than not being CONTROLLED BY THEIR OWN NATURAL TEMPERAMENTS and not by a deliberate desire to ‘always’ bring you harm. The good and the bad many people do many times is controlled by their own temperaments.

QUESTION : Is the ‘Temperament topic’ still an issue today? ANSWER : Most likely not. QUESTION : But is the temperament affect us today? ANSWER : More than ever

A case study is a man who stubbornly refuses to give in to his wife/children’s demands or is slow in meeting up with them or a man who, as his wife, puts it; “he wants everybody to do what he wants or he doesn’t respond to our needs.” The victims in this case will need to know that the principal actor – the man - here is merely acting out his inherent temperament quality; which though could be quite stubborn and selfish but still but might get the man thinking he is acting in the overall best interest.

The issue of temperament is something that has torn a lot of associates, colleagues, friends and family apart over the years and still continue to do so and most people just continue to fall victim to this on a daily basis… Your temperament controls everything that you do. While this is not a write-up on temperaments, however, as a rule, I would love to recommend: “Why you act the way you do” by Tim LaHaye. One handbook among many that explains all there is to know about Why people act the way they do and how to get over the hurt feelings that may have accumulated over the years.

Back to our issue; you may want to ask: okay how do I take care of this; I feel I am going to loose my mind over this latest behavior?

One straight up answer is that you are wrong.

You are not going to take care of anything for anybody.

You are only going to take care of your own temperament. You see, just as people act the way they do because of their temperaments, so also, People react the way they do because of their temperaments as well, got it? So the whole idea is for you to take care of your own reaction after which you may then draw close to your partner or friend that is if you still value your friendship/relationship after all these. When you introduce a new reaction – most likely based on Love (yes; same old love) and Respect/honor (same old) – then your reaction becomes the new action and a new reaction from your partner is born.

It is simply using the laws already available in nature to solve a given problem – “Every action will produce a reaction in nature.” Just switch actions (to the one you want) and a new reaction (the one you want to see) will follow.